Should babies be banned in public?
So I'm sitting in my German class, trying to learn some German, and a baby starts screaming in the hallway. For the entire 2.5 hours we are in the building, this baby is screaming on and off. After about an hour and a half of this, mom-of-screaming-baby finally takes the baby outside of the building, but the way our classroom is set up, she was just outside of our window anyway. Possibly even louder from outside.
Okay, okay, I do NOT think that babies should be banned from public. And I'm sure it's worse for the mom-of-screaming-baby than it is for us in class.
But all kinds of questions run through my mind:
Why is this woman hanging out with a cranky baby during classes? She can't be teaching or be a student with the amount of screaming that was going on.
Why is the baby screaming so much anyway? When I've complained about how babies seem to cry all the time (I don't see much of babies except in restaurants, etc.), my father explained that they don't cry all the time, only when something is wrong (hungry, wet, tired, sick, etc.) So why is this baby screaming for a whole 2.5 hours?! (That's a legit question people, I'm not judging mom for not "fixing" what was making the baby cry, I'm just wondering why they do it.)
When you are the mom-of-the-screaming-baby, do your mothering instincts kick in to make you able to deal with that? It makes me completely unable to concentrate, and also to want to put the baby in a dark place to see if it will quiet down (like a bird? that works on birds right??) I suppose, barring that, I would put the child in a soundproof room for a minute while I recover my sanity? Or is it just 100 times worse when you own the baby, because no matter whether you take it outside or stay inside, you will be the closest to the ear-splitting shrieks (and also possibly dying of shame as you imagine people like me thinking that you are not Doing Your Mom Job Right. Clarification: I do not think that.)
This post inspired by GrumpyRumbling's post about considering a second child.
And also, I was tagged by FirstGenAmerican in the "7 Links" game, and I will put that together, just need to get home from work earlier one of these days!
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August 3rd, 2011 - 16:22
The screams are actually much worse for the mom (if the baby is still young), because there’s chemical stuff going on with her reactions to a baby’s cries.
People thought our baby never cried because we were very good at getting him out of public areas as soon as he started fussing.
2.5 hours of screaming is generally something that motrin can fix… teething, earache etc. It could also be tummy upset.
August 3rd, 2011 - 18:15
I assume she had some reason for staying there (husband in class or something) but when she finally left, she left with the baby and another young child (and no husband). Hanging out in a classroom setting don’t seem like a fun time for mom and two kids anyway, so maybe a key part of managing that kind of thing is to try to avoid being stuck somewhere crowded that you can’t leave.
August 3rd, 2011 - 16:37
When our baby was really young he cried in long stretches once in a while. We couldn’t do anything to make him stop crying! Now he doesn’t cry as much anymore so it’s a lot better for everyone. Anyway, we learned to ignore what people think. We’re doing the best we could so….
Have fun with your 7 links.
August 3rd, 2011 - 18:17
I read an article once saying that boys and girls get treated differently from an extremely early age because boy babies tend to feel “uncomfortable” more (i.e. cry without a fixable reason), so parents quickly learn not to come running at their first cry.
This was in a women’s studies class that I read the article, not a biological science class, so I’m not sure of the rigor of the research that article was based on…
August 3rd, 2011 - 17:17
I experienced that occasionally at movie theaters! My next store neighbor has 2 (toddlers) children scream for everything. When I am in the kitchen I can hear them early morning (6-7 AM). Frankly, I do not understand parents who do not deal with it better. I guess it is similar with cell phone users who talk loudly wherever and whenever. This is just a symptom of deterioration of good manner, parenting and society in general. Since I can not do much about them, I either avoid or ignore them
August 3rd, 2011 - 18:18
On a related point, I don’t understand women who go to the mall with their kids and their husband. I see the woman busy shopping, the kids being bored, the dad being bored but not paying attention to the kids… why not leave kids + dad at home??
August 3rd, 2011 - 17:56
Like NicoleandMaggie said it really is a horrible experience for the parents too, but we did always try and take them away from the public if it was happening. Like restaurants or places we didn’t have to be in. If it was the grocery store I would rush, but luckily m husband usually watched the kids as I grocery shopped. It was my sanctuary.
My kids did not know or see the inside of a movie theater until they were old enough to enjoy or watch it. I get that people might not have a babysitter and have been to a movie where there was a baby who was quiet, but when they aren’t quiet, it is maddening.
August 3rd, 2011 - 18:26
I guess I don’t enjoy movies in the theatre enough to drag a baby along with me. I could probably pass up going to the theatre for a few years if I needed to!
I do understand not wanting the baby to limit what you can do and where you can go… I mean, even with my dog sometimes, I know I can’t stop by a coffee shop because she’ll bark when I tie her up outside, no matter how briefly. So. I don’t go to coffee shops when I have her with me unless I have a friend who can go in for me…
August 3rd, 2011 - 20:23
An unfortunate meetup with a rude and inconsiderate person, Kellen. Our youngest had colic… twice! We always tried to take him out of whatever public place we were in, in order not to inflict his cries on other people.
August 4th, 2011 - 10:01
My youngest was a pain in public places, but whenever he would start to act out or cry in a restaurant we would always take him outside. Did she have a stroller? Most kids like walks. Maybe she was waiting for some paperwork to register for classes or something.
Sometimes, when you’re in the line at the grocery store and you take a candybar out of their hands that they grabbed from those little shelves in the checkout line (god I hate those things), there is literally nothing you can do except listen to them throw a tantrum and hope that the check out lady is swift in her scanning.
August 4th, 2011 - 10:05
She did have a stroller. I don’t think she was waiting to register, since she was hanging around there for the whole 2 and a half hours of class, and all it takes is a 5 minute fill-out of a form to register. I also think that this same baby was there the prior week, although with only a little bit of crying.
All I can imagine is that for some reason she *had* to wait there (came with a spouse, for example, didn’t have a way to leave.) Since it is so hot outside now, probably she didn’t want to go wait outside either…
August 4th, 2011 - 11:31
We have had 6 kids and always tried to be considerate of others. If crying became an issue, we left. We cut shopping off in the middle of the list. Not that the child dictated our schedule, but if a suitable solution wasn’t found, we tried to at least think of the surroundings.
August 7th, 2011 - 20:59
A baby crying is the most natural thing in the world. If folks were concerned, maybe someone should have checked to make sure Mom and kid were ok….
What about yippy dogs that bark all night and keep folks awake?